ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
