her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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