question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize