Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I look better un-naked...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize