Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
