hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
