I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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