He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
