well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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