you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
