I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
