Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
one might say we're banned from that church
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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