By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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