i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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