I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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