brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
