my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
