Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Randomize
