I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
