I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Randomize
