Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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