Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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