Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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