This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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