i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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