There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
