You're my little dorito
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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