Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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