overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's always time for handjobs
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
