my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
