You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
