I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
