Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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