IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
