Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
