i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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