I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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