Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
