Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
