Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
