Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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