I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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