Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
