i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
