He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
