he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
