Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
NoShamevember. You game?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
