Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I pour the whiskey from now on
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
