I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
