I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Couch. On fire.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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