you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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