Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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