dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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