Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
nutella sex= disaster
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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