'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
