i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
