Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
